Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
