Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
