Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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