i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize