Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
