ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize