Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
