I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
