i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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