i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Enjoy the penises
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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