how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
dude. I can hear the air.
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