More tranny stories later!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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