wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
