I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize