I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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