I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
