May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize