so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
