She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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