I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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