Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
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we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
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Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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