Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
