I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
