I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
