Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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