you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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