She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
