Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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