just come out here and I will go home with you...
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Brb crying the tears of my youth
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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