ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
