Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
