I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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