Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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