Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
