don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
