k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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