so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
