she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
