Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry ChrisAssnaut hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!

Fav 7 1634 978
share tweet
(224): View more from Illinois

bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.

Fav 5 4604 914
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(847): View more from Illinois

We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.

Fav 10 9260 1361
share tweet
(574): View more from Indiana

almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea

Fav 1 1260 3553
share tweet
(516): View more from New York

I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye

Fav 8 1253 4241
share tweet
(847): View more from Illinois

I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.

Fav 6 3061 1116
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(251): View more from Alabama

I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party

Fav 12 4134 1447
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(914): View more from New York

If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.

Fav 0 40 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(812): View more from Indiana

Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy

(513): View more from Ohio

It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms

(513): View more from Ohio

But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!

Fav 0 114 31
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT