p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
