theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
