Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
