Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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