watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize