so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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