she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
