Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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