My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
