We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
