Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
