weddingsv make me drug and hornr
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
