I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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