I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
