JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
