It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
