Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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