dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
