3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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