Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
