Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
