Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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