I bet he comes in French.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
