the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Randomize
