Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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