we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
