please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
