erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Barsexuality is the new black.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
