When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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