How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
