if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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