His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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