I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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