Buhtt sex?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
